The Place of Shadows

Have you been there?

Since 2008, every Mother’s Day has carried a shadow. My mother died in September of that year, and not a Mother’s Day has passed without me feeling, in some way, as though I were walking through the shadowlands.

This year, I’ve also found myself thinking often about my father and brother, who have gone to be with the Lord. It is a strange thing to live without so much of your nuclear family. There are moments when it feels quiet, heavy, and deeply sad.

At the same time, I am grateful that I do not grieve without hope. While I miss them greatly, I know the shadows do not last forever. Because of Jesus, darkness gives way to light, and grief is not the end of the story.

Grief is something we will all encounter in this life. We cannot avoid it. As surely as morning comes with sunlight, there will also be seasons of shadow. We must learn how to walk through them.

I take comfort in knowing that God understands loss. He watched His own Son hang on the cross for the sins of the world. He knows the pain of separation, sorrow, and love poured out. Because of that, I know He understands ours as well.

In-Between

One of these shadowlands was the time in between, leading up to my father’s passing. There is a strange place that exists when you know someone you love is slipping away, but they are still here. I once wrote about that season in a post called The Strange Time of In Between.

It is about grief before the loss fully arrives. The waiting. The ache. The uncertainty. The moments where life seems suspended between hope and goodbye.

If you are walking through grief or loving someone through suffering and loss, perhaps this piece will encourage you.

Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is a process. There is no set date when grief ends. From my experience, you never truly stop missing the people who are gone. You simply learn, little by little, how to live with their absence.

In time, the tears become less frequent. There will come a day when memories that once brought only pain will also bring smiles and even laughter.

But if you are not there yet, if it still feels as though you are living in the shadowlands, hold on. There will come a time when you smile again.

Until then, be gentle with yourself. Let God hold you in those tearful moments. He truly does understand what grief feels like.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read a bit of my story. I hope it’s encouraged you.

Every blessing,

Lea

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